Gun in My Face

إقرأ هذه القصة بالعربية

When I was 19, my father pulled a gun in my face. I could see in his eyes, back then, that he could very well pull the trigger and end this long struggle between the two of us: Me: the gay son who was kicked out of the house at the age of 14 and now lives on his own with *gasp* a boyfriend. Him: Muslim man; naturally homophobic. I couldn’t see determination in his eyes, though, what I saw was fear; he was more scared than angry, he seemed like he was the one facing the gun, not me.

Fast-forward seven years: This half-Syrian, half-Lebanese man is still alive and kicking. Still gets insomnia at times; dreaming of the sound of the bullet that never came; still tells the story to his friends trying to overcome; still wanting to just let go. Yet, every time this story is told; it gets more engraved in my brain.

I don’t believe I’m out of the closet now because of courage; I’m out of the closet because of necessity: I’m worried that if one day; someone I love, someone I look up to, someone I care about, might find out about my homosexuality; then pulls a trigger at me. I take a shortcut and just tell them right away.

– Danny Ramadan



About Raynbow Blog

Raynbow is a nonprofit group that raises awareness and funds to support the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) movement in Lebanon. The Lebanese LGBT Media Monitor is a project by Raynbow to raise awareness and keep you informed about the latest developments from the LGBT community in Lebanon. Our online store: Our blog: Our Facebook Page: Our Twitter handle @LebLGBTmonitor
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5 Responses to Gun in My Face

  1. So sad. Thank you Danny for the courage to share your story with all of us, you already are making a difference. Stay Strong

  2. lebagaga says:

    Thank you for sharing this. It truly is inspiring.

  3. Pingback: 5 short stories about homophobia in Lebanon « Raynbow Media Monitor

  4. Pingback: خمس قصص تتصدى لرهاب المثليين جنسيًا في لبنان « Raynbow Media Monitor

  5. BiSexual says:

    i am sure that i will not come out cause of courage, and i do not know if i will cause of necessity 😦

    thanks for sharing dear

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