First crush.


This song reminds me of first crush. When I listen to it I remember how crazy I felt 3 years ago. I felt confused, in love, & alone. I couldn’t talk about it to anyone, I tried crushing on another guy, I’d try thinking about him but I found myself thinking of her. What I felt wasn’t wrong, it was innocent & real. I didn’t know it was “immoral” or that I was actually gay because it felt like the most natural thing & when people talked about gays, the way they talked about them..about us..about me, it felt like the most disgusting thing ever. It’s so sad how it could feel okay & right then a minute later if you imagined your parents or homophobic friends knew, you’d have a sick feeling at the pit of your stomach.

-Farah

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