When I was 14, I learned a new word, it was called “ homosexuality “. I toyed around with this word to the best of my abilities, and skimmed the internet for scientific articles, casual people, celebrities and explicit images and videos that naturalized the word in my head. The reason why I was obsessed with it, is that it somehow “ clicked “ with all my emotions and made some sense after all these years of confusion. I never had any supportive parent or friend to reassure me that it’s all perfectly fine and natural. So once, I pulled myself together and, against my better knowledge, spilled to my dad everything I knew. He didn’t take it lightly, what followed was a big feud how I was better off dead, and I ended up beaten, and kicked outside of the house until I lied to him about it.