Remember


The planet Earth was believed to be flat. And the person objecting it and trying to tell them that it’s round was burned to death. Even though I’m not sure of that, and some say it’s a myth, the whole “burning-to-death” part seems familiar and possible. The world was then proven to be spherical.

Martin Luther King called for racial equality and end of discrimination in his I Have A Dream speech on August 28, 1963. He was assassinated, but his battle survived. They were not “slaves” anymore.

At the age of 48, Harvey Milk was shot five times, after being the first openly gay man to be elected to public office in California. He was an icon and a martyr in the gay community. He still is. And his battle is still on.

We’re here. We’re lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transexuals. You’re homophobes. You want abusive words, stones, guns, jail cells, ropes. We want equality, hope, safety, but above all: love.

I remember being around 15, not knowing I was bi yet, and defending human rights when my father talked of homosexuality as a disease and a disgrace.

I remember being 17, and the people at the school calling me a lesbian behind my back, as if it was an insult. When I was struggling with survival, with depression, with blades and pills. I remember they couldn’t see that I needed help, they just saw the boyish outfits and decided for themselves that I was a lesbian, before I even realized it and was ready to know myself.

I remember being 20 and meeting a smart girl. I could feel myself attracted to her, and I smiled. I remember I didn’t fight it. I accepted it. Because it was just that. Because it was natural. Because it was no big deal.

I remember being 21 and hugging my girlfriend in the street. Just like I was hugging my brother. I remember that guy coming to us and telling us that he’ll kick our asses if I didn’t let go of her. I remember him telling us that he’ll kill us. I remember five guys standing behind him and we could see the hate in his eyes.

I remember being 22, and telling my girlfriend I’ll marry her. I remember losing her because she was scared. Because she loved me. Because it interfered with her plan of getting a husband. Because society wants it like that. I remember her disappearing of my life. I remember me stealing the statue of baby Jesus from Sassine and telling her that I’ll give her the impossible, presenting her with Jesus, for her to come back in my life. I remember winning her back in my life.

I remember being 22, and being kicked out of something I loved. I remember them telling me I didn’t fit the image of what they wanted. I remember them telling me that I loved too much, and I needed some limits. I remember my small “colleagues” finding out about it and telling me that they knew all along and never cared. I remember them telling me they were honored to have been taught by me. I remember parents coming to thank me for being who I am.

I remember being 23, and reading about Sibai’s article in Outlook.
I remember writing a post defending who we are, even though now that I think of it, we don’t need any defense, because we didn’t do anything wrong. We should’ve “left the dogs bark” like my father always said.
I remember straight people defending our love as much as we did.

We’re here. And we love. And you hate. Who do you think is at wrong here?

The wedding dress you want to wear to marry your husband… who do you think designed it? These sexy haircuts you have to get your women, who do you think trended it? What will you do if your boy loves a boy? You think we’re inadequate to live? To love? To get married? To have kids?
Let’s follow your logic here. My kid is straight or gay or a friggin’ unicorn. I’ll love him/her. For who he/she is, I’ll love him/her. I’m a good parent.
Your kid is straight. You’ll love him. Your kid is gay, you’ll want to kick him out, abuse him, kill him (just like you did us). Are you a good parent?

Remember this day. May 17th. It’s International. It’s against Homophobia. It’s the first we celebrate here in Lebanon. Soon, we will have national coming out day and gay parades. Because it’s about pride. Pride of the people. Pride of the battle.

Our time for our rights, equality and end of discrimination is coming. It may be happening now! And you have no idea that you’re being a part of it.

– LM.

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About lminloveandwar

imalreadyyours.blogspot.com ullbemine.tumblr.com
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